I'm looking for the end...

hell yeah finally holidays came. i guess i need a break, i guess everybody needs it. so... talking about today... supposed to study by the time i reach sch after meeting the guys. but it struck me again, i have no will to study, no motivation, no purpose. so i just gave up again. and hell, going to battle unprepared, unarmed. the only thing that i have was confidence. confidence of achieving failure. but, since i've already won the war, who gives a shit about the battle? so yeah, dont dwell over it anymore, after that went jamming. an hour doesnt prove enough to play even a song. everybody's messing around with the different instruments they can find in the room, so... basically everybody's messing around... hmmm... so... i think... thats it... just now watched a little of the 9pm show on channel 8, they're talking about the unsureness somebody could have, and god damned a lot of stuff, so actually it might be the 1st time a local show had me thinking so hard, yet they're all fact, they are what i have encountered... where are all that i've used to have? where is the me before all these got reached me?